So, I started on the theme of sleep. And then last night I had the worst sleep I’ve had for a long time. Further exacerbated by my acute hearing so that every little sound woke me and I shoved ear plugs in my ears at 4am. I’m also on annual leave in 4 weeks time and the closer it gets, the more tired I am as it is further and further away of when I last had time off.
Sleep must help tonight, otherwise I’m good for nothing tomorrow. Night x
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I was going to write something else this evening, but then I was going to write something yesterday too. That’s often the case with fibro, everything is unpredictable. I was browsing my usual inbox of health notifications at work and an aptly titled “It’s a fact – lack of sleep affects your work rate” appeared. Now it’s not new to us fibro lot that poor sleep is the bane of our lives. I never for the life of me appreciated how much lack of sleep affects so many parts of your body. If you think it’s just your brain that gets a raw deal, think again.
After a poor nights sleep you feel pain multiple times more extreme, your eyes start burning before it’s even midday. Headaches pound your temples and the back of your eyes. Fibro fog descends so low that it reaches your ankles. With only your feet for guidance you’re walking on ice as a learner skater where your balance is tested to its limits. Somehow you stay upright, but by the time an hour has passed, every muscle in your body aches. Then lightening strikes from the sky and slices through your neck and you feel your eye has shattered, but it’s still there trying to focus on fresh air.
By the end of the day as all these processes have occurred multiple times along with all the little ones that I take for granted. It’s evening, it’s after work and only a few hours to chill before bed. You’re already starting to fall asleep… ironic really, because you long and die for sleep, but it’s impossible. Even if you sleep on and off, restless legs will bug you all night. The urgency to constantly moves means you could run a marathon in the night.
Despite all this, I refuse to let this stop me working effectively and efficiently. I’m sure there are jobs I would not be suited to due to how fibro affects me but I will not be dedicated to by a condition I hate. I think that is partly what drives me, but I have had to make sacrifices. I start at 10am and finish at 6pm. I split my lunch break in to several smaller chunks. I use Access to Work for travel so that my pain and fatigue is reduced.
So, no, my work rate is not affected, but only because I do things to minimise it. Whether this is sustainable is another thing entirely…
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Today is one of those “I hate fibro days”.
I hate the fact I woke up this morning with my eyes glued shut.
I hate the fact I deployed drooled all over my pillow because of my tooth guard.
I hate the fact that my mouth felt like sand paper.
I hate waking up with a splitting headache.
I the fact I had to get the groceries in this morning.
I hate that it’s Saturday and I’ve only got one more day to use for recovering before going back to work.
I hate that no matter what I do every muscle in my body gives me pain messages every second.
I hate being so tired.
I hate that my eyes are still gritty.
Other than that life is OK. Lol.
I guess the first post has to be, “well, what is Fibromyalgia”. The best description of this is here.
The site’s I use for help and support: