Tug of War | #Fibromylgia #spoonie

Each time I have a break from workImage I end up in a battle with myself.  I don’t have a good relationship with fibro as it is. Despite reading another blog on the positive changes that someone has had as a result of developing fibro I can’t see one thing that it’s made me see differently about.   But then I’d made a lot of    positive changes as a result of long-term mental health issues and was at the peak of health at the time fibro hit me.

The battle I have is that when off work ‘I live with Fibro’ whereas when I’m working and busy ‘Fibro lives with me’.  There is a very distinct difference here for me and that is how much control it has over me.  At home, it annoys me more, affects what I can and cant’t do, during the 9 or so hours I spend in bed at night it makes a very good job of letting me know it’s there.  There is no doubt I can get away from it when working, it does a good job of chasing me, but it doesn’t quite get as close.  Even when I work from home it doesn’t seem to have as much of a hold of me.

For me the importance of working is very clear, although it does help that I like what I do.  I’m very much looking forward to going back on Thursday, I’ve had enough of being at home even though I’ve enjoyed it. I need work as much as work needs me.  

Only one more day to go……

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