Each time I have a break from work I end up in a battle with myself. I don’t have a good relationship with fibro as it is. Despite reading another blog on the positive changes that someone has had as a result of developing fibro I can’t see one thing that it’s made me see differently about. But then I’d made a lot of positive changes as a result of long-term mental health issues and was at the peak of health at the time fibro hit me.
The battle I have is that when off work ‘I live with Fibro’ whereas when I’m working and busy ‘Fibro lives with me’. There is a very distinct difference here for me and that is how much control it has over me. At home, it annoys me more, affects what I can and cant’t do, during the 9 or so hours I spend in bed at night it makes a very good job of letting me know it’s there. There is no doubt I can get away from it when working, it does a good job of chasing me, but it doesn’t quite get as close. Even when I work from home it doesn’t seem to have as much of a hold of me.
For me the importance of working is very clear, although it does help that I like what I do. I’m very much looking forward to going back on Thursday, I’ve had enough of being at home even though I’ve enjoyed it. I need work as much as work needs me.
Only one more day to go……