#flareup #spoonie #ChronicPain #Fibro #Fibromyalgia And so it goes on…..

You just know it don’t you, when life is busy, there’s not a chance to breathe and you’re not managing to give yourself a moments attention. Fibro decides when it’s going to give you a break, but it also decides to whack you on the head completely unexpectedly.  I always know when I’m nearing my Annual Leave from work.  Fibro seems to predict and wants to wind down before I’m actually ready to.  As always, the last few weeks before I go are very hectic for me, so if FlareUp Fibro would just give me a bit of a break that would be nice!

Flare Up’s remind you of the worst that Fibro has to throw at you.  My eyeballs feel like huge rusted ball bearings with eyelids turned inside out.  Thump, thump, thump of pulsing headaches which radiate from my neck, into my shoulders and once again the notion of wanting to do away with my left arm rise above.  The worst part is when the brain and mouth are not connected and don’t talk to each other resulting in lost language, thought and concentration  It’s crazy to think that the body/mind can be so fu*ked up with mixed messages, neurons and referred pain.  No rhyme or reason, but that’s Fibro for you.

I have been fortunate to have got involved in project called Work4Me

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The Base Project supports self-employment using on-line tools.  I use a huge amount of technology, apps and widgets to help me do what I do anyway.  Everything I use on-line very much makes life easier for me, from reminders, diary dates, notebooks, combined email accounts, finance, business, training and specific apps that help with all aspect of my working life.  As my ultimate goal is to be based at home, working in a much healthier way, with a routine I can control, this is exactly what I’ve been looking for.   

So, it’s times like this that remind me what my ultimate goal is and how much I need to get on get myself ready for it. I’m not doing myself any favours carrying on the way I am but I know I have to take it one step at a time. 

 

Live to work and not much else #fibromyalgia

It’s the weekend, time for a bit of catching up online with my own site/community/FB/Twitter than I run and have done for many many years now.  I’m also working on a plan over next year or so to try and set up my own consultancy business.  It means that I can go self-employed and create a mental and physical wellbeing balance that I know I will never be able to replicate in mainstream employment.

I actually don’t believe workplaces will ever address the barriers and stigma that face physical and mental wellbeing in my life time.  We are getting there, but the power of many is often offset by the shear ignorance of a few who on balance can really mess things up.

I work in mental health and I’d say that although my workplace has been very accommodating, my previous employers weren’t and likewise many people who I have spoken to who work in mental health are dealt with dreadfully.  The facade put on by businesses/orgs/companies hides a very painful and shocking underground agenda of bullying, discrimination and self-importance.  As individuals we are fighting for every position we can to heat, feed, clothe and put a roof over our heads.  Who are we kidding when jobs are on the line that everything will be dealt with according to laws, policies and rules. 

I’m also fed up with people.  I don’t fit in with most people; I don’t have the same opinions, values and principles.  Everywhere around me, people talk about issues and topics and 70% of the time I don’t see things the same way. If I could live on an Island with my husband, I would!  But then I am overly sensitive to external stimulation and most things bug me. 

I’ve waffled today, but actually what I was really going to write about was Income Protection.  After nearly a year of looking I decided to make the move and call a broker to look in to Income Protection for me.  I know I needed more specialised advise as I have a pre-existing condition.  I suspect it may be quite difficult to find something and my premiums will be more per month, but that’s something I am prepared to pay for.  I’ve included redundancy in it too as I went through this process just last year and it was so stressful I’d want to make sure that should I be in that position again, I’d at least have something to live off while looking for other work.

I await the result of my MRI scan, hopefully no intervention is needed, but I try every day to do my exercises, to keep as supple as possible, to reduce the cramps, burning, aching and swelling.  I never thought I’d be in this position and now that I am I’ve just got to get on with it.

Lastly, for you mttop72, I’m looking for a lovely Scottish Scenery photo that’ll I’ll put up asap.

xxx