Tug of War | #Fibromylgia #spoonie

Each time I have a break from workImage I end up in a battle with myself.  I don’t have a good relationship with fibro as it is. Despite reading another blog on the positive changes that someone has had as a result of developing fibro I can’t see one thing that it’s made me see differently about.   But then I’d made a lot of    positive changes as a result of long-term mental health issues and was at the peak of health at the time fibro hit me.

The battle I have is that when off work ‘I live with Fibro’ whereas when I’m working and busy ‘Fibro lives with me’.  There is a very distinct difference here for me and that is how much control it has over me.  At home, it annoys me more, affects what I can and cant’t do, during the 9 or so hours I spend in bed at night it makes a very good job of letting me know it’s there.  There is no doubt I can get away from it when working, it does a good job of chasing me, but it doesn’t quite get as close.  Even when I work from home it doesn’t seem to have as much of a hold of me.

For me the importance of working is very clear, although it does help that I like what I do.  I’m very much looking forward to going back on Thursday, I’ve had enough of being at home even though I’ve enjoyed it. I need work as much as work needs me.  

Only one more day to go……

Fibro planning (#fibromyalgia)

I can’t believe how fast time has flown by in the last few weeks. Planning my holiday starts early, I had bags etc. out two weeks ago and each day I’ve done a little bit of packing. Now that it’s nearly time to go I’m nearly done. Here am I saying ‘I’, but in reality there is two of us, actually three if you include our wee budgie 🙂 My experience of men and packing definitely doesn’t go well, and he’s great at so much of the other stuff I don’t mind. If I let him pack we’d need a lorry!

As luck would have it, it’s always been in my nature to be really organised and now that I have Fibromyalgia it’s good that I am as most things need to be planned well ahead. The unpredictability alone is a real pain in the ass and you always find you do more on your good days to compensate for the bad.

As I get the final bits done before we leave on Saturday, I’m aware that an appointment will be in the post for a lumbar MRI on my return. Having significant numbness etc. has resulted in my GP wanting to have it checked out. As most other investigations have come back normal I’m not unduly worried, but you never really know….

#Fibromyalgia and holidays

It’s that time of year again. I’ve been holidaying in the Highlands with my husband for over 20 years and I never tire each time I think about going back. We started with camping for several years, before managing to find various static caravans in people’s gardens. Around 10 years ago I found a lovely spot for us, again in someone’s garden but much more isolated and peaceful. 

There have been times when we’ve done nothing but hike up mountains and munros.  Then we spent a good number of years taking our mountain bikes, cycling some of the most amazing forest tracks and observing the most beautiful wild creatures of Scotland.

Now my highland holiday is a chance to recuperate, rest, switch off and chill. It’s not without its problems. It’s not the most comfortable holiday, the bed is uncomfortable for me and I can’t sit in the same position for too long.  But, to be honest, it’s no different at home. I take some extra pillows, a blanket, a heat pad and extra pain relief. I know no matter how much pain and discomfort I’ll be in, it won’t really matter. I can still rest, I’m on holiday from work, I can take as much time as I like to do things and if we make plans they can easily be changed.

Holidays are needed no matter what situation you are in because you are giving yourself a chance to be somewhere else; in body, mind and spirit.