People and #fibromyalgia

I think I’ll side step the sleep issue today. I will confirm though that my helper Melatonin has helped these past few nights, which is a blessing but still leaves me a tad groggy.

So, these last few weeks have been challenging, but when I think about it, the last 5 years of this condition have been challenging too. There’s one big factor that doesn’t bode well with conditions which leave you tired, exhausted, frustrated and fog brained.

Now more than ever I’ve found people in todays’ world less tolerant, less patient, less appreciative, less understanding, less willing to listen ‘properly’, more selfish, more self-opinionated, more egotistical and living in a self-contained bubble. There is never a day goes by where I come across people behaving in this way.

But not all is lost, I have people/pets around me who I love dearly, who do care, who in many ways see what I see changing in this world, who know, like me, to leave these people in their worlds. We know these people must be so shallow, so desperate to live by other people’s standards, desperate to be admired and looked up to. It’ll never stop for them because unlike some of us who are happy with our lot (well nearly, LOL), they have to keep behaving like that because it’s a drug. If they don’t get what they need from others then they fall apart.

So, while it’s a factor that doesn’t bode well because it’s just another added ‘thing’ to deal with, it is one we can let go of as soon as we close that front door at night.  It’s not something they can.

I can then be left to focus on me and my needs and my determination to try and get back in to a routine of mindfulness.

Another Melatonin tonight I’ve got a lot of sleep to catch up on.


Live to work and not much else #fibromyalgia

It’s the weekend, time for a bit of catching up online with my own site/community/FB/Twitter than I run and have done for many many years now.  I’m also working on a plan over next year or so to try and set up my own consultancy business.  It means that I can go self-employed and create a mental and physical wellbeing balance that I know I will never be able to replicate in mainstream employment.

I actually don’t believe workplaces will ever address the barriers and stigma that face physical and mental wellbeing in my life time.  We are getting there, but the power of many is often offset by the shear ignorance of a few who on balance can really mess things up.

I work in mental health and I’d say that although my workplace has been very accommodating, my previous employers weren’t and likewise many people who I have spoken to who work in mental health are dealt with dreadfully.  The facade put on by businesses/orgs/companies hides a very painful and shocking underground agenda of bullying, discrimination and self-importance.  As individuals we are fighting for every position we can to heat, feed, clothe and put a roof over our heads.  Who are we kidding when jobs are on the line that everything will be dealt with according to laws, policies and rules. 

I’m also fed up with people.  I don’t fit in with most people; I don’t have the same opinions, values and principles.  Everywhere around me, people talk about issues and topics and 70% of the time I don’t see things the same way. If I could live on an Island with my husband, I would!  But then I am overly sensitive to external stimulation and most things bug me. 

I’ve waffled today, but actually what I was really going to write about was Income Protection.  After nearly a year of looking I decided to make the move and call a broker to look in to Income Protection for me.  I know I needed more specialised advise as I have a pre-existing condition.  I suspect it may be quite difficult to find something and my premiums will be more per month, but that’s something I am prepared to pay for.  I’ve included redundancy in it too as I went through this process just last year and it was so stressful I’d want to make sure that should I be in that position again, I’d at least have something to live off while looking for other work.

I await the result of my MRI scan, hopefully no intervention is needed, but I try every day to do my exercises, to keep as supple as possible, to reduce the cramps, burning, aching and swelling.  I never thought I’d be in this position and now that I am I’ve just got to get on with it.

Lastly, for you mttop72, I’m looking for a lovely Scottish Scenery photo that’ll I’ll put up asap.